What is Ambiguous Loss?
Ambiguous loss refers to a loss that is unclear, incomplete, or without closure. Unlike death or a clearly defined ending, this type of loss leaves you caught between presence and absence, making it harder to grieve, heal, or “move on.”
The person, role, or future you expected is gone in some way but not entirely.
Two Common Types of Ambiguous Loss
Physical absence with psychological presence
Physical presence with psychological absence
Common Signs someone is experiencing an identity shift
- Feeling "unmoored" or disconnected
- Loss of confidence or direction
- Questioning purpose or value
- Grief without a clear loss
- Desire to redefine or simplify life
Why identity shifts matter in coaching & support
Identity shifts are not problems to fix—they are thresholds. With support, people can:
- Grieve what was
- Name what has changed
- Reclaim core values
- Reimagine who they are becoming
Role Changes
When a defining role ends, begins, or changes.
- Becoming a parent or caregiver
- Children leaving home (empty nest)
- Retirement or job loss
- Becoming a widow/widower or partner after divorce
Why it matters: Roles often anchor identity. When they change, people may ask, “Who am I now?”
Health & Body Identity Shifts
When the body changes, identity often follows.
- Chronic illness or disability
- Cancer diagnosis or survivorship
- Aging and physical decline
- Injury or loss of mobility
Impact: A shift from who I was physically to who I am now.
Relationship Identity Shifts
Relationships shape how we see ourselves.
- Divorce or separation
- Death of a spouse or partner
- Estrangement from family
- Becoming a caregiver to a parent or spouse
Often includes: Ambiguous loss, grief, and relational disorientation.
Life Stage Transitions
Crossing into a new stage of life.
- Midlife reflection
- Retirement years
- Becoming a grandparent
- Facing mortality or end-of-life awareness
Core question: What does this stage ask of me now?
Loss of Future Identity
Grieving a future that will not happen.
- Infertility
- Unmet dreams or life paths
- Career aspirations that didn’t unfold
- Loss of imagined retirement or health
This is often ambiguous loss and can be deeply unseen.
Trauma-Related Identity Shifts
Trauma can fundamentally alter self-perception.
- Sudden loss or accident
- Violence or abuse
- Natural disasters
- Medical trauma
Shift: From who I was before to who I am after.
Belief, Faith, or Worldview Shifts
When meaning systems change.
- Crisis of faith
- Spiritual awakening or loss
- Changing political or moral views
- Questioning long-held beliefs
Can feel like: Groundlessness or liberation—or both.
Geographic & Cultural Identity Shifts
Place and culture shape identity.
- Immigration or relocation
- Downsizing or moving from a longtime home
- Returning “home” after years away
Often includes: Loss of familiarity, community, and belonging.
Aging & Mortality Awareness
A quieter but powerful shift.
- Awareness of limited time
- Changes in independence
- Desire for meaning, legacy, or reconciliation
Often leads to legacy work, life review, and values clarification.
Career & Professional Identity Shifts
Work is often tightly linked to self-worth and identity.
- Being laid off, fired, or forced to retire
- Changing careers later in life
- Losing professional status or authority
- Transitioning from full-time work to part-time or consulting
Common feelings: Loss of purpose, invisibility, grief, uncertainty.